…from the weekend that was. For your use in elevator rides, trips to the water cooler and other awkward moments on a Monday.

> For starters, you hope the football team has a safety plan. Rumors of an allegedly disturbing development aren’t really rumors. All anyone will say is that something is being investigated and something else will happen soon. That’s not as vague as you think, either.

> Greg Van Zant for governor?  

> Maybe you can get behind a lawyer who will defend you and compare your plight to that of slavery. Maybe. But a lawyer who repeatedly asks for bathroom breaks and expresses a need to use the “potty?” That’s another matter (Page 176, line 24).

> Mike Brown is not to be confused with Adam Sandler. Jimmy the Greek? That, too, is another matter (Page 137, line 12).

> Joe Alexander will not be running from the Coliseum…he’ll be leaping.

> No, really everyone, we’ll always have women’s track!