Oh, man. Preseason camp was going to be so cool. It started at 5 p.m. today and I rolled through the parking lot at the Puskar Center fashionably early and swerved into the sneaky elevated lot to the left of the main entrance.

There, waiting for me in the prime location just paces from a flight of stairs that leads to a short walk into the stadium, was the Bob Uecker spot.

Couldn’t have been more excited …

Really?

Things Thursday were not what they seemed. When the snipers rested their weapons and security lowered the bridge so that we might enter the stadium, I saw gold, blue and white jerseys and uniform blue helmets without logos.

That, to me, seemed odd.

I’m just so used to the Flying WV, I suppose, that the plain look takes me by surprise.

Also, no spider pads, you’re welcome.

Well, think nothing of the lack of decals. I posted the picture and a “What the …?” thought to Twitter, and that sparked curiosity and excitement and a few people even came over to tell me the real deal.

There is no real deal.

It’s not motivational — “You gotta earn the WV!” — and it’s actually merely common sense. Helmets get beat up in two weeks of camp and then practice and they need to be touched up before the first game. So WVU waits until that occasion, when they’re touching up the helmets, to apply the decals.

Happened in the 2011 camp, too, but WVU has had the decals in the past two springs.

And that was probably the height of the day’s excitement.

No Dee Joyner, Deontay McManus, Sam Lebbie or Roshard Burney. They’re all listed on the jersey roster except Lebbie, but, again, all is not as it seems. McManus and Lebbie are together at a prep school in Atlanta. Burney, I’m told, has a name plate in the locker room — fella who told me wasn’t sure if the others did, so who knows what it means — but he likely won’t know until this weekend or later. Joyner is out, future destination unknown.

I joke about and plainly state how meaningless what we get to see really is, but today wasn’t bad — there, I said it. There was a bunch of special teams work, which truthfully isn’t unusual for us to see.

You can get some ideas. You see who the coaches fancy as tough guys — though perhaps “fancy” isn’t the appropriate word — when they line up the three brutish blockers in front of the punter.

Apparently WVU likes Garrett Hope very much. In a punting drill, the coaches and then teammates must have called his name 10 times to get him into the brutish blocking front.

So the Texan is tough. Either that, or there is an alarmingly high number of people who like to say “GARret HOPE!”

I’m always fixated on the return men. Chances are your kickoff return guys have the best combination of one-move instincts and straight-ahead speed while the punt returners are the most able players with the ball in their hands and usually excel on their own designs.

We didn’t get to see kickoffs. We saw punts — and I’ll save commentary for deeper into camp for what’s happening there. Today? Let’s not.

Anyhow …

That is, from right to left, preseason all-Big 12 punt returner — no, really — Tavon Austin, freshman Jordan Thompson, freshman Devonte Robinson and freshman Travares Copeland. Cornerback Brodrick Jenkins got in a little later.

Those are all similarly sized and skilled players, even Jenkins, who was an offensive wiz in high school, with the exception of Robinson.

This, believe it or not, is not a terrible pitcure. You can tell Robinson is assembled a little differently. He’s 6-foot-1, but he’s back there with the lower-to-the-ground types for a reason.

That reason? How about better than 30 yards per reception across 31 receptions last season? And that’s in Florida’s Palm Beach County. Decent football there.

Copeland is worth keeping an eye on, too. They say he’s 6-foot, but I’m not sure. I bet he redshirts, unless he hits a bunch of home runs right away, but he’s a talent. He’s not a quarterback, per se, but he was a pretty good dual-threat high school quarterback. I mean, all-state as a utility player good, and again in Palm Beach County. He needs to find a home and get familiar and it appears he’ll be an inside receiver.

As for my eyeball test, I don’t care if I’m going to Austin or Ames to play a game. Will Clarke is the first one off my bus. In fact, he’s off the bus first and then I’m hurrying him around to the back of the bus so he can sneak back on and come out again … probably four times in total.

I mean, sheesh.

Bruce Irvin was a different brand of frightening. His reputation was fierce and he was just so damn fast and agile. Clarke is a lot of those things, but he’s also 6-foot-6 and can probably change a headlight and a tail light at once. A running back is going to take a knee for a 2-yard loss this season, right?

Below is freshman defensive lineman Christian Brown, who line coach Erik Slaughter likes. I know this because Slaughter told Brown this and said something to the effect of, “I know you’re going to be good …” as he was critiquing something with a lot of detail for the first day.

WVU needs bodies for the line, especially in the middle, where Brown figures to play. He is every bit 6-foot-2 and 295 pounds.

Also, Doug Rigg is enormous.

That was the bulged eyes winner of the day, thanks to 18 3/4 inch biceps. And let that be the warning a certain youth back home in Bloomfield, N.J..

6 year old kid tried to punch my mom today at summer school sheesh my mom needs to get out the hood ASAP smh

One person that was specifically pointed out to me was freshman K.J. Dillon. What I previously remember about Dillon was this tale from Joe DeForest about his first actual recruiting trip as a memberof WVU’s staff: “I went to his door and I said, ‘Wow, I hope that’s you. Please, be K.J.’ It was, thank God.”

Well, no wonder. Remember earlier when I said “no spider pads.” Reminder as you check out No. 9: No spider pads.