I wrote this not quite two weeks ago and, boy, were people mad at me. Not that I’d said anything bad or wrong, but because I, a guy who wrote a somewhat gloomy and pessimistic book, had written a column that was going to be a Pied Piper of bad news. Something, I was assured by many, was now bound to to happen.

Well, look what we have today: “I have been made aware of the situation and am gathering facts at this time. I will take appropriate action when all the facts are in.”

Noooo!

Terence Garvin — Aside: I wrote Travis the first time! — and Darwin Cooke were arrested April 25, 14 days after a Sheetz employee called the police because he thought he saw the two stealing a bag of Doritos, two bags of pretzels and, of course, three bottles of Gatorade.

The long and short is the employee was working April 11 and saw the two stuff the snacks into a backpack and called the cops. An officer responded a day later and eventually surveillance footage was enough to draft criminal complaints.

Hey, it’s shoplifting. Not exactly small potato chips, but not a banishable offense either. And I guess if you want to play Devil’s Advocate, you can say they were disguising coverage and working on takeaways.

But seriously, about that $2,000 stipend …