The Sock 'Em, Bust 'Em Board Because that's our custom

Texts from the Orange Bowl

A day later and everything was still coming up Milhouse! That’s a shot from yesterday afternoon. “About two-dozen fans gathered at Milan Puskar Center in Morgantown on Thursday.” There could have been more, but the game went late and the team gave the fans plenty of incentive to say up even later.

I’d have to imagine there will be something for the team at tomorrow’s basketball game, too. Hell, I bet they could have something at every game the rest of the year and get a crazy cheer. The party is going to last a while here. I don’t think people have felt this good since the 2006 Sugar Bowl, when the players sat in the locker room after the game, looked around and thought, “Sophomore. Sophomore. Freshman. Sophomore. Freshman. Fr — holy crap, we’re going to be really good.”

So enjoy that. Don’t even worry about the coaching staff or the roster or recruiting or the lawsuit or anything else. Smell the oranges. Behold the best TFGD yet, where things were dicey early, but just out of control after about 10:15, with a major assist from Pat Miller.

Daddy wrestles alligators. Mama works on carborators. Her brother is a fine mediator for the president. And here she is again on the phone, just like me, hates to be alone. We just like to sit at home and text the President. West Virginia.

My edits are in [brackets]. So, too, are some of yours.

7:32 pm:

Aconga at the ready! Let’s do this!

8:30:
Lou holth only guy to pick us

8:31:
Herbie picked WVU to get its [backside] kicked. I hate him.

8:36:
Run ALL OVER THAT [SQUAD]!

8:42:
Gruden too busy squawking out the producer’s hype notes to recognize that P.I.

8:43:
That guy Barber stinks..just stinks.

8:44:
Darwin Cook was naturally selected to [stink … I know, the original word is not a bad word, but a rule is a rule] on that play

8:46:
Ugh. He made Cook look slow … Or maybe Cook is slow.

8:52:
[Lucky] a, Buie. That was amazing!

8:54:
Baba buie!

8:54:
Does Inspectah JackBo have a jam called “A** Off Da Ground”?

8:54:
Great play…although its so obvious he wasn’t down we’ll probably get [frustrated]

8:56:
ALSTON 3:16 SAYS I JUST TIED THIS GAME!!

8:57:
[Stick] one Herbie!

9:02:
U know ur conference is [below average] when Keith Tandy is a first teamer

9:05:
Tandy WILL get an int.

9:06:
Our defense is a [football] joke. I hope they don’t even let casteel back on the plane

9:07:
Cook [still stinks]

9:08:
I count about 10 holds on their tackles not called so far

9:08:
Everything’s coming up Milhouse!

9:12:
Stew says play for OT here

9:12:
AUSTIN 3:16 SAYS I JUST TIED THIS GAME!!!

9:17:
They can never make it easy!!!

9:19:
[Boisterous] wooooo! Tavon!

9:22:
This 1st quarter has lasted longer than a Kardashian marriage. Geez.

9:34:
Run that [ball] all night!

9:34:
Stew says go 4 corners

9:34:
If Tavon wore men’s sizes instead of elf shoes, he’s out. Instead, td.

9:36:
Tavon is a velociraptor.

9:42:
Najee Badde

9:43:
I haven’t seen a Barber this good since Brutus Beefcake

9:46:
Cook. Not sure if serious.

9:46:
IF THIS GETS OVERTURNED I RIOT!!

9:47:
It’s evolution, baby

9:48:
Never seen a review before where it was one teams TD or the other’s

9:50:
My [gobbledygooking] god.

9:51:
Win if lose that [sequence] has to go in your book. Darwin cook’s redemption

9:51:
That just happened!!

9:54:
Poor Obie

9:45:
Legandarily incompetent ref didn’t throw a flag on the hit on Obie. I’m stunned, though probably because I just [wet] myself.

9:54:
Honky Tonkery has no time for rock rubbers

9:54:
Not bad for a bunch of nobody’s from Western Virginia

9:54:
Holy god a 3 & out!

10:00:
Buie continues to be completely unimpressive

10:01:
People seem surprised by the explosiveness of WVU’s offense. Ummm…THEY PUT 533 TOTAL YARDS ON LS[FOOTBALL]U THIS YEAR!

10:11:
Tirico just name dropped DONALD IGWEBUIKE. Take a shot.

10:11:
This game is moving too fast for me to appropriately document in text messages

10:13:
Holy god I can’t feel my [extremities]!

10:16:
EVERYTHING’S COMING UP MILHOUSE!

10:16:
Take that Taj!!!

10:16:
OMG…was that Pat Miller?????

10:16:
PAT [SIGNIFICANTLY IMPROVED] MILLER!!!!!

10:16:
WHEN THE [HECK] DID PAT MILLER TURN INTO A SEMIPASSABLE D1 PLAYER??

10:16:
THIS TAJH BOYD FATHER PAT MILLER GUD

10:17:
Hot grits!!!!!!!

10:17:
Can’t feel my face either.

10:17:
[Not sure how to censor this one] Mr. Marinatto

10:18:
DEAR AMERICA…The name’s Tavon. I suggest you remember it.

10:20:
I haven’t been this giddy about WVU football since Fiesta Bowl! Trying to figure out how Joe Manchin can eff it up…

10:21:
That ball was out!!!!!

10:22:
Woodrow Dantzler just ate another anxiety eclair

10:23:
Holgs must be peeing his pants after that calk

10:24:
Fake the hot potato play to Tavon and EVERYONE bites on it.

10:26:
Darwin Cook is my new 4thfavorite Mountaineer!

10:28:
Perfect play call. Perfect.

10:28:
I think Dabo just cried in front of Lisa Salters

10:28:
Not even Train can dampen this halftime.

10:28:
I…speechless…words…what???

10:29:
I have elderly downstairs neighbors. They’re sooo gonna call the cops.

10:30:
And I’m crying. I’m 33.

10:30:
Impressive that WVU finished the half w/ 7 TDs. More impressive that I finished the half with only 5 underwear changes.

10:31:
wonder if brad nessler knows we’re a [actual] state now!?

10:31:
I really don’t know what to say at this point now that I have a second to catch my breath other than; THAT JUST HAPPENED!

10:37:
I just took out the trash because I can’t sit down and halftime is long. [Hooo doggy] it’s cold.

10:43:
THIS is why Andrew Lucks Dad fired Sun Stew

10:45:
I want you to tattoo “hero” in the headlines with a picture of Dana

10:48:
Best half I’ve ever seen.

10:55:
Starting to understand why the ACC didn’t want us

10:56:
Pat Eger!!!

10:58:
Someone call the national guard…

10:58:
This is neat to see

11:06:
[Fine and] beautiful Geno to Steddy

11:07:
Clemson done gave up

11:07:
Ride that old mine mule

11:10:
He barry sanders’d that [dog]

11:20:
I got the mooooooooooooooves like Dabo!

11:24:
MY GAWD, THAT’S PAUL MILLARD’S MUSIC!

11:25:
Holy Santa Claus [satchel]

11:26:
I want Geno back in right meow

11:27:
Put your pads back on, geno

11:31:
I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT THEY JUST GAVE UP THAT TD! How odd that is

11:34:
I hope our sideline isn’t disorganized in the fourth quarter.

11:35:
I hope Clemson doesn’t have Eli Manning coming off the bench like Ole Miss did.

11:48:
May be last time I get to type it: KEVIN TANDY!

11:48:
I told you Tandy would get a pick!

11:52:
TAJH BOYD FATHER SAY PICKS NO FARE

12:01 am:
SEVENTY!

12:01:
Everything is [emphatically] coming up Milhouse

12:02:
Well, shut the front door!

12:03:
Is it bad I’m playing country roads?

12:03:
I bet you’re getting the array of wrestling references, but here’s one …

12:03:
Alert the WWF because we are slaughtering tigers.

12:03:
ESPN Mobile Alert: Big 12 fires interim commissioner Chuck Neinas.

12:04:
6 minutes left and not a Tiger fan in sight

12:07:
The bball team scored 85, maybe they are trying to beat that!

12:07:
Ball so hard [my friends] wanna find  me

12:13:
Find a scholarship for a punter, Holgo. And have Dexter take care of Molinari & Smith.

12:14:
Corey Smith! Now I can finish my 23rd drink…

12:15:
That shank is the only thing that makes sense to me tonight.

12:16:
Hmm. Do I need to see a doctor? It’s been just about four hours.

12:18:
Casteel’s going away Gatorade bath was just televised

12:20:
Wvu has more bcs wins than the acc.  You think about that

12:22:
Ihope pat white doesn’t hire another bad coach during this awards ceremony

12:26:
Tavon was lookin to GET DOWN with Lisa Salters!

12:28:
Take that [brah].

12:30:
I‘d like to see Jaws break down the routes Manchin ran and the tackles he broke to got onstage.

12:31:
How does that [politician] show his face after giving miner families false hope for potential political gain?

12:31:
Tavon shoulda been MVP.

12:31:
Let’s keep Pat White away from the stage. I don’t want him endorsing Casteel’s replacement.

12:38:
I got put on Twitter probation for breaking their   X amount of posts in X amount of time rule. Literally happened after the clock his zero. Not even mad

12:41:
JMU coaches just got up…quietly turned off the TV…started weaping uncontrolably and lost all control is their collective bowels.

12:42:
“We’ll be singing. When we’re winning…. I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re not ever gonna keep me down.”

1:03:
Awesome performance. Clemson folded their tent early

Jan. 5, 10:40 am:
Wvu just scored again

 

7:32:

Aconga at the ready! Let’s do this!

 

8:30:

Lou holth only guy to pick us

 

8:31:

Herbie picked WVU to get its [backside] kicked. I hate him.

 

8:36:

Run ALL OVER THAT [SQUAD]!

 

8:42:

Gruden too busy squawking out the producer’s hype notes to recognize that P.I.

 

8:43:

That guy Barber stinks..just stinks.

 

8:44:

Darwin Cook was naturally selected to [stink … I know, the original word is not a bad word, but a rule is a rule] on that play

 

8:46:

Ugh. He made Cook look slow … Or maybe Cook is slow.

 

8:52:

[Lucky] a, Buie. That was amazing!

 

8:54:

Baba buie!

 

8:54:

Does Inspectah JackBo have a jam called “A** Off Da Ground”?

 

8:54:

Great play…although its so obvious he wasn’t down we’ll probably get [frustrated]

 

8:56:

ALSTON 3:16 SAYS I JUST TIED THIS GAME!!

 

8:57:

[Stick] one Herbie!

 

9:02:

U know ur conference is [below average] when Keith Tandy is a first teamer

 

9:05:

Tandy WILL get an int.

 

9:06:

Our defense is a [football] joke. I hope they don’t even let casteel back on the plane

 

9:07:

Cook [still stinks]

 

9:08:

I count about 10 holds on their tackles not called so far

 

9:08:

Everything’s coming up Milhouse!

 

9:12:

Stew says play for OT here

 

9:12:

AUSTIN 3:16 SAYS I JUST TIED THIS GAME!!!

 

9:17:

They can never make it easy!!!

 

9:19:

[Boisterous] wooooo! Tavon!

 

9:22:

This 1st quarter has lasted longer than a Kardashian marriage. Geez.

 

9:34:

Run that [ball] all night!

 

9:34:

Stew says go 4 corners

 

9:34:

If Tavon wore men’s sizes instead of elf shoes, he’s out. Instead, td.

 

9:36:

Tavon is a velociraptor.

 

9:42:

Najee Badde

 

9:43:

I haven’t seen a Barber this good since Brutus Beefcake

 

9:46:

Cook. Not sure if serious.

 

9:46:

IF THIS GETS OVERTURNED I RIOT!!

 

9:47:

It’s evolution, baby

 

9:48:

Never seen a review before where it was one teams TD or the other’s

 

9:50:

My [gobbledygooking] god.

 

 

9:51:

Win if lose that [sequence] has to go in your book. Darwin cook’s redemption

 

9:51:

That just happened!!

 

9:54:

Poor Obie

 

9:45:

Legandarily incompetent ref didn’t throw a flag on the hit on Obie. I’m stunned, though probably because I just [wet] myself.

 

9:54:

Honky Tonkery has no time for rock rubbers

 

9:54:

Not bad for a bunch of nobody’s from Western Virginia

 

9:54:

Holy god a 3 & out!

 

10:00:

Buie continues to be completely unimpressive

 

10:01:

People seem surprised by the explosiveness of WVU’s offense. Ummm…THEY PUT 533 TOTAL YARDS ON LS[FOOTBALL]U THIS YEAR!

 

10:11:

Tirico just name dropped DONALD IGWEBUIKE. Take a shot.

 

10:11:

This game is moving too fast for me to appropriately document in text messages

 

10:13:

Holy god I can’t feel my [extremities]!

 

10:16:

EVERYTHING’S COMING UP MILHOUSE!

 

10:16:

Schiano just convulsed for some reason

 

10:16:

Take that Taj!!!

 

10:16:

OMG…was that Pat Miller?????

10:16:

PAT [SIGNIFICANTLY IMPROVED] MILLER!!!!!

 

10:16:

WHEN THE [HECK] DID PAT MILLER TURN INTO A SEMIPASSABLE D1 PLAYER??

 

10:16:

THIS TAJH BOYD FATHER PAT MILLER GUD

 

10:17:

Well, they said Boyd forces passes. Tandy grabs grease board: “100 percent right”

 

10:17:

Hot grits!!!!!!!

 

10:17:

Can’t feel my face either.

 

10:17:

[NOT SURE HOW TO CENSOR THIS ONE] Mr. Marinatto

 

10:18:

DEAR AMERICA…The name’s Tavon. I suggest you remember it.

 

10:20:

I haven’t been this giddy about WVU football since Fiesta Bowl! Trying to figure out how Joe Manchin can eff it up…

 

10:21:

That ball was out!!!!!

 

10:22:

Woodrow Dantzler just ate another anxiety eclair

 

10:23:

Holgs must be peeing his pants after that calk

 

10:24:

Fake the hot potato play to Tavon and EVERYONE bites on it.

 

10:26:

Darwin Cook is my new 4thfavorite Mountaineer!

 

10:28:

Perfect play call. Perfect.

 

10:28:

I think Dabo just cried in front of Lisa Salters

 

10:28:

Not even Train can dampen this halftime.

 

10:28:

I…speechless…words…what???

 

10:29:

I have elderly downstairs neighbors. They’re sooo gonna call the cops.

 

10:30:

And I’m crying. I’m 33.

 

10:30:

Impressive that WVU finished the half w/ 7 TDs. More impressive that I finished the half with only 5 underwear changes.

 

10:31:

wonder if brad nessler knows we’re a [actual] state now!?

 

10:31:

I really don’t know what to say at this point now that I have a second to catch my breath

other than; THAT JUST HAPPENED!

 

10:37:

I just took out the trash because I can’t sit down and halftime is long. [Hooo doggy] it’s cold.

 

10:43:

THIS is why Andrew Lucks Dad fired Sun Stew

 

10:45:

I want you to tattoo “hero” in the headlines with a picture of Dana

 

10:48:

Best half I’ve ever seen.

 

10:55:

Starting to understand why the ACC didn’t want us

 

10:56:

Pat Eger!!!

 

10:58:

Someone call the national guard…

 

10:58:

This is neat to see

 

11:06:

[Quite] beautiful Geno to Steddy

 

11:07:

Clemson done gave up

 

11:07:

Ride that old mine mule

 

11:10:

He barry sanders’d that [cat]

 

11:20:

I got the mooooooooooooooves like Dabo!

 

11:24:

MY GAWD, THAT’S PAUL MILLARD’S MUSIC!

 

11:25:

Holy Santa Claus [satchel]

 

11:26:

I want Geno back in right meow

 

11:27:

Put your pads back on, geno

 

11:31:

I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT THEY JUST GAVE UP THAT TD! How odd that is

 

11:34:

I hope our sideline isn’t disorganized in the fourth quarter.

 

11:35:

I hope Clemson doesn’t have Eli Manning coming off the bench like Ole Miss did.

 

11:48:

May be last time I get to type it: KEVIN TANDY!

 

11:48:

I told you Tandy would get a pick!

 

11:52:

TAJH BOYD FATHER SAY PICKS NO FARE

 

12:01 am:

SEVENTY!

12:01:

Everything is [emphatically] coming up Milhouse

 

12:02:

Well, shut the front door!

 

12:03:

Is it bad I’m playing country roads?

 

12:03:

I bet you’re getting the array of wrestling references, but here’s one …

 

12:03:

Alert the WWF because we are slaughtering tigers.

 

12:04:

6 minutes left and not a Tiger fan in sight

 

12:07:

The bball team scored 85, maybe they are trying to beat that!

 

12:07

Ball so hard [my friends] wanna find me

 

12:13:

Find a scholarship for a punter, Holgo. And have Dexter take care of Molinari & Smith.

 

12:14:

Corey Smith! Now I can finish my 23rd drink…

 

12:15:

That shank is the only thing that makes sense to me tonight.

 

12:16:

Hmm. Do I need to see a doctor? It’s been just about four hours.

 

12:18:

Casteel’s going away Gatorade bath was just televised

 

12:20:

Wvu has more bcs wins than the acc. You think about that

 

12:22:

Ihope pat white doesn’t hire another bad coach during this awards ceremony

 

12:26:

Tavon was lookin to GET DOWN with Lisa Salters!

 

12:28:

Take that bitches.

 

12:30:

I‘d like to see Jaws break down how Manchin got onstage.

 

12:31:

How does that [politician] show his face after giving miner families false hope for potential political gain?

 

12:31:

Tavon shoulda been MVP.

 

12:31:

Let’s keep Pat White away from the stage. I don’t want him endorsing Casteel’s replacement.

 

12:38:

I got put on Twitter probation for breaking their X amount of posts in X amount of time

rule. Literally happened after the clock his zero. Not even mad

 

12:41:

JMU coaches just got up…quietly turned off the TV…started weaping uncontrolably and lost all control is their collective bowels.

 

12:42:

“We’ll be singing. When we’re winning…. I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re not ever gonna keep me down.”

 

1:03:

Awesome performance. Clemson folded their tent early

 

Jan. 5, 10:40 am:

Wvu just scored again