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Texts from LSU Game Day

You may say the four WVU turnovers — and minus-four turnover margin — and the 20 point LSU took as a result were the difference. You could even narrow it down and look at Tyrann Mathieu’s interception as the difference. Maybe it’s the disparity in the running game or the momentum swing brought about by Morris Claiborne’s kickoff return touchdown and the two bad attempts at tackles along the way by Avery Williams and J.D. Woods.

But in a 60-minute game, one in which a very good offense is matched against an even better defense, I wonder if you might also agree field position was a major, major difference and, thus, factor. LSU started, on average, at its own 48 — and remember, the  team combined to snap the ball 34 straight in the first half in WVU territory. The Mountaineers, on average, started at their own 15. Everyone will take 52 yards against WVU’s defense over 85 yards against LSU’s defense every day. Heck, you’d take 52 yards against LSU’s defense over 85 yards against WVU’s defense, to be true.

The starting points, and, in particular, the consistently deep starting points for WVU, altered the game.

“That was definitely important because Coach Holgorsen had to change up his play calls,” said Tavon Austin. “He had to change the speed we had on the field and put the big fellows in. They’re a fast team on defense, so that made it a lot harder.”

Five WVU drives started inside the 10. LSU’s touchdown drives were 58, 50, 61, 1, 57 and 55 yards – and that doesn’t count the 99-yard kickoff return touchdown, the second special teams touchdown the Mountaineers have allowed.

LSU’s Brad Wing punted six times. He averaged 48.7 yards per punt and all six went inside the 20. Austin didn’t return any of the punts. He let balls roll and be downed at the 3, 4, 5 and 9 and waved for a fair catch at the 11 and 8.

“He was kicking them high and they looked like they were coming in short all the time, but they were coming in deep,” said Austin, who also had a pass bounce off his helmet in the first quarter that led to an interception and a Tigers touchdown. “That was by far on me for not catching the ball.”

The Texts From Game Day were once right there with every break — not to be confused with break-in — and every heartbreak in the game. Seems like everybody’s got a price, I wonder how they sleep at night. When the tale comes first and the truth comes second just stop for a minute and text. My edits are in [brackets].

(6:56 PM):
Went tandem w/ my wife in the long port-a-John lines. Needless to say this sacrifice was well received.

(7:59 PM):
Landau Murphy terrible. Would rather hear Eddie sing Party All the Time.

(8:08 PM):
The opening shot on ABC gave me chills

(8:11 PM):
Ridiculousness. I’m so luckin pumped.

(8:18 PM):
15 people just puked around me

(8:22 PM):
Nothing takes the air out of a crowd like a crappy punt

(8:25 PM):
Somebody teach Pat Miller how to cover for god sake!

(8:25 PM):
Get 6 off the [football] field right now.

(8:25 PM):
Perlo Miller

(8:26 PM):
10 good defensive players and a Perlo

(8:26 PM):
That TD never happens if Pat Miller were a D-1 quality player

(8:26 PM):
There goes the crowd. Not sure what you do about that crap.

(8:29 PM):
I kinda hate you for saying we had a chance.

(8:30 PM):
OK, I thought I’d never find anything I hate worse than a Mullen_ bubble screen, but I think a Casteel rush 3 and drop 8 on 3rd and long may qualify.

(8:33 PM):
You can’t have a ucking delay of gamee at home

(8:34 PM):
Eaux neaux!

(8:34 PM):
Wtf. We’er toast

(8:34 PM):
Short field. They’ll score.

(8:45 PM):
I don’t want to sob in public. I can feel it coming in the air tonight.

(8:46 PM):
Bill Stewart is wearing his Big East (tri) Champs shirt from last year tonight and smiling. You think about that.

(8:47 PM):
Pat Miller should be playing at UAB.

(8:47 PM):
Oh Lawd…these boys are going to make me an alcoholic!

(8:48 PM):
If this game comes to blows, look out for Branko Busick…oh wait.

(8:49 PM):
Eaux neaux!

(8:50 PM):
Pat Miller…burnt, burnt, burnt…all night long!!!

(8:51 PM):
Help me, texts from Gameday. I’m on a dark place.

(8:53 PM):
I don’t know what feed you heard but over radio that was louganis/roseanne awful

(8:54 PM):
Jeff “False Start” Braun

(8:55 PM):
[Forget] mike puskar. What is this [stuff (anything)]?

(8:55 PM):
We look lost and confused!

(8:57 PM):
We look like a monkey f-ing a football. Except we cant hold onto the football. So basically we just f-ing suck.

(8:58 PM):
Well, that 1st Q had me seriously contemplating breaking out the Knob Creek whiskey….

(9:05 PM):
Faker

(9:06 PM):
Holgs most demonstrative HC around?

(9:07 PM):
That TD happened cause I changed shirts

(9:07 PM):
STEADMAN [MIDDLE NAME] BAILEY!

(9:24 PM):

Eaux neaux!

(9:26 PM):
OMG…I need a bottle of Patron and a straw! These boys are making me want to be an alcoholic!

(9:27 PM):
That was smart football for LSU, but Herbie and Brent are [discussing] Les Miles like it as the greatest play ever

(9:34 PM):
Brian West thinks this punter sucks

(9:38 PM):
Bill stewart hearts Wing. Game MVP.

(9:38 PM):
Ppl in my sec hate me cause I txt so much. They don’t know.

(9:47 PM):
Eaux neaux!

(9:48 PM):
I am…speechless….over that int. Wow….

(9:48 PM):
Mistake after mistake, and no breaks, ever.

(9:49 PM): Makes no [competitive] sense to pass the ball there, but Walter Matthau made a ridiculous play.

(9:49 PM): That sucked but I’m looking forward to someone asking Holgs about the pass call and Holgs insisting the call wasn’t the problem.

(9:51 PM):
Everytime LSU throws the ball Musberger acts like its the most brilliant playcall in football history.

(9:52 PM):
Seriously, Musberger, you and Les Miles should just [shake hands] and get it over with already

(9:59 PM):
I will now light myself on fire

(10:13 PM):
Someone just gave me a shocked whilst in the beer line. I’m … Shocked. #offensive line.

(10:29 PM):
AUSTIN 3:16!!

(10:32 PM):
Tigers are strangely fragile

(10:33 PM):
38 yard run from tavon and all espn talks about is athleticism of LSU defense.

(10:35 PM):
Marlon Leblanc and the men’s soccer team are sick and tired of these LSU players being struck with ill-timed injuries as momentum inches towards the opposition

(10:36 PM):
Hot grits!!!!!!!!

(10:40 PM):
Their punter is a golden god.

(10:41 PM):
Geno comin’

(10:45 PM):
Dana “Piece of [lint] [late-hitters].” on the personal foul.

(10:48 PM):
Camera on Dana holgerson and he yells “f’in [bull’s eye]!” after personal foul for late hit on Geno. Except he used the real word.

(10:51 PM):
SMITH IS KILLING US

(10:53 PM):
What Smith is doing more damage? Geno to LSU or Corey to WVU? I’ll hang up and listen.

(10:56 PM):
However, espn is at least acknowledging that LSU is faking injuries to slow down our offense.

(10:58 PM):
Taaaaaavon AUSTIN 3:16 Says I just burned your seconday!!!!

(10:59 PM):
Why is the field judge standing over the ball while the play clock is running

(11:01 PM):
Oooooh we got ourselves a ballgame!

(11:02 PM):
Why do I feel liek stealing white stripes and gold towels from michigan will comeback to haunt us?

(11:03 PM):
OK so I obviously saw taht coming but I did NOT see THAT coming.

(11:03 PM):
I knew that [kickoff return touchdown] was gonna happen. KNEW IT! Damnitsomuch!!!!

(11:03 PM):
[My friend]. So our moment of EUphoria lasted, what 15 seconds?

(11:03 PM):
Eaux neaux, KO coverage!

(11:04 PM):
Heart. Ripped. Out.

(11:04 PM):
It really irritates me when they call Les Miles the “mad hatter.”

(11:10 PM):
You know you’re playing a good team when you have 405 passing yards and you’re still down 2 touch downs.

(11:18 PM):
Really sick and tired of the Venus de Milo tackling

(11:19 PM):
Is jamal addai on the field?

(11:19 PM):
4th quarter – still no CEJ!

(11:20 PM):
Turnovers have lost this game – a real shame

(11:20 PM):
According to Brent Musburger, no team has ever “taken” a timeout. We “burn” coal, Brent.

(11:25 PM):
Every time someone tries to just knock the ball carrier down without wrapping up, Casteel ought to put ’em on Huggs’s treadmill.

(11:25 PM):
I’m going to hang myself. But no rope. Story of my life as an eer fan.

(11:26 PM):
Wvu totally had this game … except for the world’s worst punting, the turnovers, the piss-poor tackling, the dumb penalties, and, oh yeah, the help Lsu

(11:26 PM):
got from the officials. But other than that, definitely, might as well just mark it as a w.

(11:27 PM):
Where is the team that played Mississippi State?

(11:30 PM):
Eaux neaux.

(11:31 PM):
Really aggravating, all the mistakes. This one has been gift-wrapped with a bow. On the bright side, who can beat us if we don’t beat ourselves?

(12:02 AM):
If LSU doesn’t win the national title this year I will deep fry and eat a hat.