This is why we do Texts From Game Day. We covered almost 12 hours of game day with more than 100 texts and they ride the wave of pregame thoughts, nonsensical observations before and afterward, the stunning lows and anticipated highs within the game and all sorts of story lines that weren’t necessarily related to the game. There’s even an eye patch!

Do me a favor: Don’t throw a flag at these antics. Record-setting Norfolk State Coach Pete Adrian might explode,

The Spartans, from the Football Championship Subdivision, set three Milan Puskar Stadium records in Saturday’s 55-12 loss to No. 19 WVU and were a party to two others. NSU was flagged 19 times for 177 yards and gave the West Virginia offense eight first downs by penalty.

“Don’t get me started,” said Spartans Coach Pete Adrian, a WVU lineman and linebacker of the late 1960s.

The two teams also combined for nine first downs by penalties and 262 penalty yards, 10 more than what WVU and Miami combined for in 1994.

Miami owned the previous record for penalties with 17 in that game. The Mountaineers had a record 158 yards in penalties against Temple in 1983. A team gave its opponent five first downs by penalty six times in field history, most recently by WVU against USF in 2008, but the Spartans beat that by three and that alone matched the combined record totals of WVU and Louisville in 2007 and WVU and Cincinnati in 1980, the first game at the stadium.

“If we are that stupid as players, then that’s the way it is,” Adrian said. “I’ll have to watch the film, but the officials are saying they did their job. We have to stop that if we are doing that.”

Excuse my charisma, vodka with a spritzer. Swagger down pat, call my texts Patricia.

My edits are in [brackets].

(8:57 AM):
Does Oll Stew lament that he had but one life, one coaching career, and in it he failed, where his dear pal Coastal coach Bennett prevailed: asking his p

(8:57 AM):
layers to eradicate cats from the house and be dawgs?

(10:55 AM):
Jersey trash just parked in front of our house. 4 boys roll out. I say “nice man purse.” Then realize the strap I saw is actually a sling on the dude’s arm.

(11:36 AM):
Coastal Carolina’s coach is not dumber than Stew, but he’s in the conversation.

(12:28 PM):
Norfolk st. Is very small in the trenches

(12:43 PM):
Why don’t they play some Juice Newton during the pre-game warmup? That would really get the lads jazzed up.

(12:57 PM):
Is Babe Winkelman’s Outdoor Secrets gonna end soon enough for Root Sports to cut to the WVU game????

(1:02 PM):
Everyones doin the power clap this week!

(1:03 PM):
Mountaineer running with American flag brings a tear to my eye.

(1:07 PM):
I have on good authority the CEJ will be played twice this week to make up for last week’s audio debacle…

(1:10 PM):
…and boom goes the dynamite.

(1:10 PM):
What the [frack]. You said cej was dead

(1:10 PM):
Damn cotton eye Joe

(1:10 PM):
CEJ first chance they get! someones [toying] with u

(1:11 PM):
100 seconds in and we have CEJ!

(1:13 PM):
CEJ will live forever

(1:14 PM):
Are they trying to set a penalty record;

(1:15 PM):
Oh no!!!!!

(1:15 PM):
Oh no was in reference to cej. Of course the reference is lost now b/c that was 10 min ago.

(1:18 PM):
Goldberg made FG. Old wrestler or Mighty Ducks goalie?

(1:21 PM):
This is embarrassing. Maryland is laughing. Marshall is weeping.

(1:21 PM):
W. T. F. ???

(1:21 PM):
Juuuuust a bit outside

(1:23 PM):
So much for that article about how improved Bitancurt is. Wow.

(1:29 PM):
Well it looks like another f-d up weird game is in store.

(1:29 PM):
A lot of people compare Holgorsen to Huggins. But who knew Dana was also a master or the slow start?!

(1:30 PM):
Bill stewart would be pleased. The old gold and blue is only down 3 and just had a heckuva punt.

(1:30 PM):
S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C!

(1:32 PM):
Based on their play today looks like WVU took the Womantrip

(1:32 PM):
3rd & 7 from our 9 and a tunnel screen to Bailey. Throw the ball down the field, Mullen_.

(1:37 PM):
Please tell me this is a fluke. Where are my Mountaineers?

(1:39 PM):
THROW THE BALL. MULLEN_.

(1:39 PM):
I hate to say this but a bubble screen mighta worked there.

(1:39 PM):
I look forward to the rational discussion this week on talk radio and blog comments about the offense stalling on its first 3 drives. Will be well reason

(1:43 PM):
Yackety sax

(1:44 PM):
Ummm…not thinking the end of an ugly first quarter was the best time to try for a moment of silence in front of 60K drunk, pissed and frustrated people.

(1:44 PM):
You could describe me as underwhelmed

(1:47 PM):
On the bright side, Norfolk State doesn’t look like a terrible team.

(1:47 PM):
Some guy with an eye patch removed it for God Bless America. NEVER FORGET! Arrrrgghhhh

(1:47 PM):
Forgot to set our alarm clocks today

(1:48 PM):
Norfolk st had eight! Penalties in Q1 yet leads 3-0. And no turnovers on either side. Are we caught in a space-time continuum?

(1:53 PM):
Yay. Our first first down.

(1:53 PM):
Good thing there is beer sold. I needed one.

(1:57 PM):
Can we buy out the rest of the o line’s contracts too?

(1:58 PM):
Unable to get 1 yard against FCS is [extraordinarily] sad

(1:59 PM):
That next man trip might not be too fun. Fans are booing incessantly.

(2:00 PM):
Stop throwing the ball, Mullen_, at least on the 1-yard line.

(2:01 PM):
Ummm….what in the the hell was that? How do you not get in the endzone?

(2:02 PM):
If Bill Stewart were coaching, I’d be breaking furniture… For some reason, I think we will get this figured out.

(2:11 PM):
Did PaulA deen pass out butter to our receivers?

(2:11 PM):
So our second best offensive play thus far is a dropped pass that resulted in a 15 yard penalty

(2:14 PM):
Tell Hertz that I love him tweeting that his own column is a must read.

(2:17 PM):
WVU takes the lead, but NSU has to feel the officials are screwing them.

(2:28 PM):
I’m gonna drink more.

(2:28 PM):
Is it okay if I cry durig halftime?

(2:29 PM):
I’m willing to sit through two monsoons but not garbage. Hello Blue Lot!

(2:30 PM):
Aaaaaand there’s the first clock-mgt bungle of the Holgo era at the end of the 1H. Timeout before 3rd & long.

(2:30 PM):
Can somebody summon Thor?

(2:31 PM):
Fire Oliver Luck right now.

(2:32 PM):
/phone rings. “hello? This is mike slive calling for Oliver Luck. He’s in NC? Ok tell him the SEC says fuhgeddaboutit”

(2:33 PM):
Wow.

(2:33 PM):
Crowd around me is angry. Really angry. Rightfully so, probably.

(2:34 PM):
On TV, Holgorsen said “If we’re not able to run the ball with four people in the box, it’s going to be a long season.”

(2:34 PM):
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

(2:35 PM):
Cluster[cuddle]

(2:35 PM):
Trainwreck

(2:35 PM):
I’d substitute 2 or 3 o line positions. Freshmen, whatever. They cannot do worse.

(2:35 PM:)
That plane from the flyover is idling at the airport so Holgorsen and his staff can flee Saigon if this doesnt change

(2:36 PM):
Dana when being interviewed at the half: “If we’re not able to run the ball with 4 men in the box, it’s going to be a long season.”

(2:36 PM):
Like watching 2 brain dead chimps [dribble] a soccerball

(2:39 PM):
How many Big East teams would’ve even made the four field goals attempted by Norfolk? I say 2 tops.

(2:39 PM):
As bad as it looks Norfolk is a better team than a lot of FBS teams I’ve watched… Louisville comes to mind.

(2:41 PM):
Will you post on Texts from Gameday that the Point Pleasant BIG BLACKS are kicking tail this year?

(2:47 PM):
We have a cat in the house.

(2:47 PM):
Need more dogs.

(2:50 PM):
Even with Stew, I’d feel good about winning this game. With Holgz, I feel good about still blowing out norfolk st

(2:59 PM):
Do these running backs understand they are supposed to run away from the white jerseys and not into them.

(3:00 PM):
I sincerely hope they reached deep in their [posteriors] and found their heads. I’ve never seen such a need for an ego check in all my life.

(3:09 PM):
Actually, Dana’s hair is angry too.

(3:11 PM):
I’ve seen better drive blocking in the Lingerie Bowl

(3:14 PM):
A team that makes adjustments and takes over… It’s like last year only it’s the complete opposite.

(3:18 PM):
John Thornton is referring to WVU as “we” on ROOT & using only first names for players

(3:20 PM):
I like that the screen says bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce!

(3:21 PM):
WVU is probably undefeated when leading at the beer cutoff but I’m not gonna bother looking it up

(3:26 PM):
Thornton just pulled out Tale of Two Halves. ROOT is bending, bending, bending…

(3:26 PM):
How many times this year will we have to watch our RBs get tackled in the open field by the only player they encounter?

(3:34 PM):
Is this the same team from the first half?

(3:36 PM):
38-12 with 2 min in 3Q. How will OllCurse prevent scoring 40+ this time?

(3:37 PM):
What’s the penalties record in a single game?

(3:40 PM):
/phone rings. Hello- this is Mike Slive again. Sorry to bother you. Tell Ollie we were just kidding…..as long as you win by 4 TDs.

(3:44 PM):
It’s oddly fitting that Sticks scores the TD that breaks the 40-pt OllCurse.

(3:44 PM):
Waited my whole life to throw deep in a blowout game.

(3:44 PM):
The 47 point spread isn’t out of the question!

(3:45 PM):
Ive never seen so many Roughing the Passenger’s Wallet penalties! (Those watching on computer know what I’m talking about!)

(3:48 PM):
Is Brantown Bowser still here? Or is he here for letterman weekend? That guy played for Jim Carlen

(4:00 PM):
So it turns out Devon Brown is pretty slow. Decided to commemorate that by taking 6 min to text this.

(4:00 PM):
It isn’t fair to expect Starks to hold onto that ball given the ongoing and distracting political intrigue surrounding Social Security.

(4:04 PM):
Alright. Letssee what millard can do.

(4:13 PM):
Millard has swag you need to double bag.

(4:14 PM):
Brad Starks has quite a man beard. And I’ve been pronouncing Millard’s name wrong all this time.

(4:18 PM):
Well that was a night and day kinda game.

(8:27 PM):
Renee Nadeau landed on Lsu Tiger Network. John Sanders can get bent.