One Month At A Time

October Horror Films Return!

Through the month of October, “One Month at a Time” will be watching lots of seasonal horror films and sharing our (my) findings.

To be perfectly honest, I haven’t watched a lot of scary movies lately. I used to watch them by the metric ton, back when there were things called video stores, but with the decline of the brick and mortar places, I’ve fallen into watching whatever is on Netflix or Amazon.

The experience isn’t the same and also, with so many choices, it’s hard to find anything actually worth watching.

On the one hand, it’s awesome that obscure indie directors can get their low budget, hand-crafted movies out to where people can watch them. On the other, nobody at Amazon, Netflix or the other streaming services seems to care what they run –just so long as there’s not too much nudity.

There’s no real filter –and those star ratings systems are often pointless.

Besides, decent horror films often get trashed in the ratings by killjoys who really wanted to watch the British Baking Show, but got stuck watching something spooky because they lost a coin toss.

Anyway, I’ve spent the last couple of years, like everyone else, watching endless seasons of “The Office” and “Supernatural,” but this month, I’m trying to dig in there and watch some honest-to-Goodness horror films. While I can’t promise one a day, I can probably get a couple in a week.

Here’s the first:

“Hell House LLC”

hell-house-llc

My first film out of the gate is a shakey-cam film about a Halloween haunted house attraction production crew that sets up shop in an old, upstate New York hotel with a bit of a history. Bad things happened. There may have been a cult. It really doesn’t matter. Thinking too deeply is only going to hurt the ball club.

The main thing is the place is haunted and the folks who signed on to make some money during Halloween are slowly drawn into a nightmare.

While there is a bit of blood, it’s not especially gory. The film is trying for more of a documentary feel and the malevolent forces at work are more about efficiency than grandstanding with a lot of organs getting tossed around.

It’s a little bit “Blair Witch Project” meets “The House on Haunted Hill,” but I mean that in the most complimentary ways.

As is usual with haunted house films, the audience figures out everybody should just pack up and go someplace else approximately one hour and 20 minutes before the end credits, but where’s the fun in that?

“Hell House LLC” is fun. It’s legitimately creepy and even when you know where it’s all going, that doesn’t mean it’s not a fun ride.

You can find this one on Amazon Prime.

 

Spartan Race –People of Target

I was at Target, picking out a fitness tracker to help me keep up with my mileage, when I spotted Travis and Hannah, a couple both sporting Spartan Race t-shirts.

This was reason enough to amble over and say, “Hi. I couldn’t help but notice your t-shirts. So, you’ve done a Spartan Race?”

The couple looked at each other. I don’t think I was the first person to walk up to them to ask.

We talked for probably 10 minutes. Last year, they’d run a couple of Spartan Races, but had also done Tough Mudder races (A different brand of obstacle race). Both looked like they were in ok shape, but didn’t look like the people I keep seeing in Spartan Race promotions.

It’s looking more and more like they hired a few models or actors, which is fine. Not everybody is photogenic. Doing all the crunches in the world can’t fix it if you look like a velociraptor.

They told me:

  1. They like the Tough Mudder races better.

“It’s more of a community,” Hanna said. “People will help you, if you need them, too. It’s about everyone getting across the finish line.”

2. Spartan Races have better swag.

“You get a better head band and it’s a good t-shirt,” Travis said.

3. The mile markers at Spartan Races might become scarce.

Hannah told me, “We stopped seeing them after a while and when you’d ask the volunteers, ‘How much farther? They’d always say, just another couple of miles.”

And the miles just rolled on.

4. Bring water, snacks and mustard.

I didn’t know this, but, apparently, you can wear a Camelback water bottle and take race refreshments with you –like Gatorade chews, Gu packs and even Cliff bars. This was also not apparent in the photos I’d seen of races.

I knew about Gu packs –they’re basically sugar and electolytes, sometimes with caffeine and protein. Long distance runners, cyclists and triathletes use them. I’d seen Gatorade chews at the grocery store and I eat Cliff Bars regularly (My fave is the Peanut Butter crunch).

Mustard was new, but Travis said, “Yeah, you see empty mustard packs all over the place. People will carry them.”

“Uh, why?” I asked. Eating mustard straight out of the packet seemed gross.

“It helps with cramps,” Travis said.

According to a couple of websites, yeah, that’s what it does. Mustard contains properties which will help prevent or ease cramps in the case of dehydration.

5. They believed I could handle the race.

“I’m not much of a runner,” Travis said. “But that’s not all that important.”

You never run that far, he explained. There is always another obstacle to get to. The obstacles are the thing, not the distance.

His wife didn’t entirely agree.

“Some of the obstacles are the running,” she said. “You might run straight up a mountain for a mile and a half.”

But it could be done –as long as I paced myself and kept my head.

“You can do this,” she said. “And there’s beer afterwards. It’s the best beer you’ve ever had.”

Kilt Run update

Training for the Celtic Calling’s Kilt Run has been a little slow –slow enough that I figure I’ll be taking the two-mile Kilt Walk option, which may probably include some light Kilt jogging.

I’m a little disappointed, but the Kilt Run was supposed to be the first step toward the Spartan Race coming up in August –and I cannot complete a full mile without stopping.

spartan

Getting your running legs back takes longer when you’re 46 instead of 15 maybe. Also, while I was making some progress the first couple of weeks, I slacked off last week.

I just didn’t get out on the practice field and run laps.

ymca-field
A safe place to go where the other runners won’t laugh at you.

I’ll get back to it this week, which probably won’t help much for Saturday’s run, but this is all a process. I get that.

My time is limited.

I now have just six months to get myself up to running 14 miles and capable of leaping over fire or fighting dinosaurs or whatever it is they’re putting out there for the Spartan Race.

barney-cake-with-photo-3_enl
I have no idea how you train to deal with this.

I haven’t looked too deeply. Why spoil the surprise?

In the meantime, I’ve subscribed to an email newsletter that’s supposed to provide me with workout tips and things to help me prepare.

I haven’t actually opened in any of these emails, but it’s a process, right? One step at a time.

Going Vegan: Another Vegan Potluck

So, we have another vegan potluck at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation (520 Kanawha Blvd. W.) today (March 6). The eating gets started around 6:30 p.m. You don’t have to be a vegan to come eat. You don’t even have to be a Unitarian. They’re OK with just about anybody.

Probably, you shouldn’t bring your leftovers from a recent Critter Dinner or your Mom’s meatloaf. Save that for lunch tomorrow with your co-workers. They’ll love you for it.

Anyway, something to do. No pressure.