Doc Holliday and Luther Campbell on the same football staff? In this alternate reality, why not?

February 26, 2014 by Derek Redd

Some ideas are just so silly, they might actually work. This one — the 2014 college football coaching draft — is one of those ideas.

The concept is simple: A bunch of staff members from and SB Nation got together to draft college football coaching staffs. It mostly included head coaches, yet (as you can see from the title of this blog post) some of the guys got a little creative.

So where did Marshall coach Doc Holliday fall in all of this? He was an eighth-round selection of SB Nation’s Bill Connelly and the 76th overall pick of the draft. Connelly has him coaching wide receivers on the staff of Gus Malzahn, though I’m sure ol’ Gus would have him cleaning up on the South Florida recruiting trail.

He’d have some surprising help on Connelly’s Malzahn-led staff from one Mr. Luther Campbell, Miami Bass godfather, former 2 Live Crew member and current defensive coordinator at Miami Norland High. “Uncle Luke” was Connelly’s final draft pick, to serve as a graduate assistant and “recruiting, duh.”

Among other notable moves:

— The head coaches would be West Virginia natives Jimbo Fisher (FSU) and Nick Saban (Alabama), Chris Petersen (Washington), Kevin Sumlin (Texas Tech), Mike Leach (Washington State), Steve Spurrier (South Carolina), Urban Meyer (Ohio State), Les Miles (LSU), David Shaw (Stanford) and Malzahn.

— WVU head coach Dana Holgorsen joins mentor Leach’s staff as running backs coach/refreshments coordinator. Hope they like Red Bull.

— Former WVU head coach and current Arizona head coach Rich Rodriguez would be Miles’ co-offensive coordinator, quarterbacks coach and spokesman against the proposed 10-second rule.

— Texas Tech coach Kliff Kingsbury would be Petersen’s offensive coordinator, quarterbacks coach and “head of coaching gear” with creative control over uniform design.

— Saban’s staff would include defensive grad assistant Joe Moglia currently Coastal Carolina head coach, chairman of TD Ameritrade and human version of Scrooge McDuck.

— Jared Lorenzen, former portly Kentucky quarterback/portly New York Giants quarterback and current brontosaurus-sized Northern Kentucky River Monsters quarterback, would work Leach’s staff as a graduate assistant and read-option specialist.



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